I was regularly lied to from the day I was born, although it took me awhile to realize it. What was this lie? I was told there was a god who both cared about me and wanted me to fear him, or else he would strike me dead with a Lightning Bolt from the Heavens. Because I was a small child who was inexperienced in the ways of the world, I believed this lie. At first.

Of course, it didn’t take long for me to notice little inconsistencies that made me wonder about the truthfulness of this assertion. For example, even though I learned it was a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, my father in particular, enjoyed telling god to damn certain people to hell for doing things he didn’t like such as cutting him off in traffic or bothering him about lunch while he was trying to read the newspaper on Sunday afternoons after church. Being barbequed alive seemed a terrible fate for such minor offenses, but I was a mere kid and had to be repeatedly reminded that all sins were equally terrible in god’s eyes, that bothering someone while he was reading the newspaper was the same as subjecting someone to extended physical and mental torture and rape before finally murdering that person by eating them alive.

Since I initially believed this lie wholeheartedly, whenever I heard the pronouncement, “goddamn you to hell!”, I held my breath expectantly and sat waaay back, hoping the ensuing Lightning Bolt from the Heavens would not singe my eyebrows. It never did, because oddly, it never materialized.

Hrm.
Read More…